The Compass

Issue date: 3/11/08 Section: Opinion

March is Women's History Month. As a man, I must salute all the wonderful ladies for the hard work they have done to finally be recognized for all their accomplishments. I must also say that I feel that they have received the short end of the stick, when it comes to the accomplishments they have been recognized for. The truth is that women's history didn't begin with the suffrage movement. It began with the beginning of the human life as we know it.

Since the beginning of time men have been attracted to women. We are drawn in by their beauty, thoughts and opinions. Okay, mostly by your looks! There's a certain force that they hold over us and over time they have developed that force into a tool that makes men spring into action. That tool is often referred to by men as "nagging!"

Before time was time, women were pushing men toward innovation. I'm not sure how these discoveries actually came about, but here's how I'd like to think they went down. Some normal everyday caveman is sitting peacefully in his dino-recliner, wearing his mammoth fur pajamas, when all of the sudden he hears nonstop mumbling. Soon this caveman realizes this mumbling is actually his wife. The mumbling is about how cold the cave seems to get this time of year and that all he does is sit around in his mammoth fur pajamas. Finally, he notices that his wife isn't mumbling anymore. She's actually waiting for him to get up and address the problem!

Like any normal member of the male sex, the caveman goes out to his shed and piddles around, just hoping he can come up with a good excuse to get his wife off of his back. So, he messes around with some old mammoth tusks, checks out some old swimsuit magazines and then he finally clacks some rocks together and out comes a spark. Next thing you know that spark turned to fire and that fire ended the nagging, at least for a little while!

Even with fire the opposite sex could not stay satisfied for long. There was still moaning about food, shelter and more importantly travel! After weeks and weeks of hearing complaint after complaint one caveman had reached his whit's end. He was so annoyed that he decided to take his frustration out on a nearby stone. After he hacked the rock with his club for a few minutes, he noticed that a small circular piece of rock was lying next to his hairy, callused, dirt-covered foot. From that frustration, the wheel was born and that frustration was nurtured by the nagging of a cavewoman! Now, let's fast-forward to the 19th century.

Continued...

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